Sex+ Tool Box

Resources for individuals, couples, and discussion groups. This page will be frequently updated & categorized as tools accumulate.

Communication Profile
A series of questions to help individuals understand their communication style, and ultimately, to become more self-aware about communication. Can be used individually, with a partner, or with a group.

Heterosexuality Questionnaire
A series of questions that are often asked of the gay and lesbian community–ironically turned back upon heterosexuals to illustrate what heterosexism looks like.

Non-Monogamy Chart
A chart that humorously explores several varieties of non-monogamous relationships.

White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack
A short but revolutionary piece of anti-racist literature by Peggy McIntosh in which she gives clear awareness-raising examples of how racism still exists today. This 7-page self-reflection and empathy tool is great for personal exploration or as a group discussion piece.

Power and Control Wheels
Power and control wheels will help illustrate what abusive behaviors look like in a partner. Experiencing any of the behaviors in each wheel is a sign to get help. Love is not abusive. Below are 3 different versions:
Teen Dating Power & Control Wheel

Domestic Abuse Power & Control Wheel

How Abuse Affects Children

Your Dating Rights
You have them, but do you know what they are?

The Ten Rules of Anal Sex
An intro guide to anal sex for individuals or couples.

Tips for Coming Out
A guide for individuals of all ages who are ready to come out as gay, lesbian, trans, etc.

10 Things Men Can Do To Prevent Gender Violence
A handout for men to explore ways they can help stop the epidemic violence against their mothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends, daughters, and friends. A great discussion piece for groups.

Non-Violent Communication Guide
A handout with an accompanying worksheet to help explore nonviolent communication toward violence prevention. Good for groups or individuals.

The G-Spot Guide
A guide for women and their partners to understand, find, and stimulate the g-spot for increased pleasure during envelopment.

The P-Spot Guide
A guide for men and their partners to understand, find, and stimulate the male prostate for a new world of pleasure.

Sex Positive Terminology
Found right here at, this cumulative list of terms will give advanced thinkers vocabulary and definitions to discuss sexuality in an informed way.

Recommended Movies
The Business of Being Born
Killing Us Softly: Advertising’s Image of Women
When Abortion Was Illegal
Zeitgeist: Moving Forward (redesigning culture)
Unnatural Causes: Is Inequality Making Us Sick?
XXXY: Intersex (15 mins, good group discussion piece)
The Assassination of Dr. Tiller
A tool that finds 3x more breast tumors, and why it’s not available to you – 20 mins, good discussion piece for groups
News Station: Democracy NOW – news that matters

Recommended Books
Cunt by Inga Muscio
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
Yes Means Yes by Friedman & Valenti
Are We Born Racist? by Jeremy Smith
The Future and Beyond by Jacque Fresco
The History of Sexuality by Michel Foucault
The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton
Gender Trouble by Judith Butler
Governing Through Crime by Jonathon Simon
Aint I A Woman by bell hooks
Fixing Sex by Katrina Karkazis
Body Outlaws by Ophira Edut
The Nature of Difference by Hammonds & Herzig
The Sexual Politics of Disability by Gillespie-Sells
In Love & In Danger by Barry Levy,
The Ethics of Belief by W.K. Clifford
Powers of Desire by Ann Snitow,

Alternative/Sex Positive Porn
These porn producers are combating the mysoginistic and alienating trends of mainstream pornography.
Crashpad Series (queer porn, genuine sex with real partners)
Veg Porn (sex positive vegans/vegetarians making porn)
Nina Hartley (how-to series)