YouTube Defends SEX+!

If you were around yesterday, you may have witnessed my fit of rage when I found out my “CLIT-ICAL THINKING!” video had been flagged.

The clitoral guide was, for a few hours, restricted to only those 18+. Meanwhile, my prostate guide stayed up for the world to see after months of being up. Keep in mind, 60% of my audience is registered in the 13-17 age category.

This clear disparity between the sexes access to information is particularly troublesome. It affirms the fact that people are more comfortable with male sexuality than female sexuality, and that many think pleasure-based sex ed is for “adults” only. It keeps teens, and especially teen women, in the dark about sexuality and forces kids to stumble their way through. It doesn’t have to be this way.

Stigma.

Stigmastigmastigma.

It will be the death of me, I tell you.

Here in the US, the sex positive fight is AWN. BIG TIEM.
There are attacks every fucking day on sex ed, sexuality, and peoples’ right to their own bodies.

Here on the internet, many of us find a retreat. We find the answers we’ve been denied. We find community. We share experiences & information. We help each other to grow & to build strong identities and relationships.

You know, everything sex ed is *not* in most of the world.

Following the flag notice, Allan (my tech partner in crime) and I worked to restore access to those who were being denied. I contacted YouTube directly and started the appeals process while Allan got an unrestricted version up on the site. I received tons and tons of support from everyone yesterday, and I am so grateful for it. Y’all are the best SEX+ warriors teh internets has known!

Today, I received a notice that the video would return to its unrestricted state. HO00RRRRRAAAYYYY!!

Not gonna lie….I’m shocked!

I’ve had a bout or 2 (or 5…or 10….) with YouTube since I’ve been uploading, and usually the result isn’t so positive. I’ve had a handful of videos outright removed. What gives?

Last October, I visited the YouTube Headquarters. On my 22nd birthday, no less!

I met with the peeps from YouTube about my channel, trajectory, and….boundaries for uploads.

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Hey fattie, you eat too much!

There’s a channel on YouTube that I’ve been watching for some time now. His name is Steven Assanti, otherwise known as “FatBoyGetDown“. Steve weighs over 600 pounds and in his videos you can find him dancing to the latest beats, parodying other YouTubers, and….eating.

A short while ago, Steve applied to be on a weight loss show called “The Biggest Loser” pleading that he fears he will soon die if he doesn’t lose weight. When he wept on camera, his viewers were compassionate, empathetic, and wrote in to help him get on the show. Since then, there have been no updates on his attempts to get on the show. I suspect he may have been rejected because he has too many medical issues, but I don’t have much support for that claim. In the mean time, he has continued to post videos like his old ones. I find his comments…..interesting. On the message boards of his regular videos, people leave considerably rude comments:

My questions for you are: are these comments about Steve’s habits or body justified? Is Steve “asking for it” and does that matter? Would it make any difference if people were telling him how to live his life in a way that was less rude? Is it our place to regulate each other’s health…especially a total stranger? Obviously, the commenters on this video think that the answer is yes; they feel justified and entitled to telling Steve how to regulate his life and will likely continue to do so.

I’m not so sure I see it the same way. Being obese is not a crime, and even though his approach might be unhealthy, eating too much isn’t a crime either. In my opinion, it’s YOUR life, not mine. It’s not my place to degrade you and judge you because of a lifestyle and habits that are yours alone; I simply don’t see this as warranting verbal abuse. Humans can be so despicably cruel.

*UPDATE 3/08/11: Steven has posted a video announcing that he is leaving YouTube because of the verbal abuse. :’(

Excuse me for fucking eating a large pizza just because I’m morbidly obese. So what? Everybody has an addiction. There’s alcoholics, there’s drug addicts…and there’s food.”
Steven Assanti

Meet the Parents!

I’m an apathetic fan of College Humor’s videos on YouTube. Today they posted a video called “Meet the Boyfriend”, a skit wherein a typical meet-the-parents scenario undergoes total role reversal between the boyfriend and the dad. Funny stuff, I’d recommend you give it a view.

Throughout the video I was thinking about this particular “meet the parents” situation that so many of us are familiar with. I’ve seen countless movies/sit coms where the boyfriend meeting a woman’s parents is some huge nerve-wracking ordeal and the actual meeting is a moderately formal type of interview.

From the film “An Education”

There are a couple of reasons the common portrayal of this situation bugs me.

1. It’s usually about the guy meeting a woman’s dad. It is rarely about being introduced to her family, nor have I ever seen the situation portrayed with same-sex couples (i.e. a situational comedy about a guy meeting his boyfriend’s dad).

2. The exchange between the boyfriend and the dad always includes some sort of checklist muddled in forced conversation. To me, it looks like an exchange of property; a progressive manifestation of dowry or bride price. I understand worrying about your kid having an ambitious partner, but talking money at first meet seems excessive and irrelevant to the purpose. I mean, are you assessing your kid’s partner based on how good they are to them? Or how much money they can cough up?

But I have to ask myself, is this how it usually goes down for people? Or is this a lingering old school remnant? I’d be curious to hear your experiences, if you have any with this (please specify your gender). It’s not exactly a situation one can peer in on, unless you’re a super creep. Which, don’t get me wrong, I totally am, but I haven’t gone to such lengths….yet.

With my family, it has always been a really casual and fun occasion, not scary! I’m really thankful that my parents are so awesome when it comes to me dating. They have always welcomed me & my sister’s partners with open arms and made them feel like one of the family.

Maybe that’s why the pop culture imagery of this situation is so weird to me?

*Update: I’ve read all the comments, and it sounds like it’s a mixed bag. However, I definitely notice a trend with female viewers having this experience in varying intensity. Thank you for sharing!

Laci Green – 3 Years of Videos!?

It’s my 3 year “YouTube anniversary” this month. Even though the first months worth of videos that I ever made and uploaded are now banned from YouTube (LOL), I still consider this a point of celebration.

In the past 3 years I have:

1. Gotten a reputation for being a firey-mouthed liberal.
2. Gotten more attention for my body than ever before in my entire life, particularly my breasts.
3. Felt validated in my thoughts and much less alone.
4. Feared for real-life safety because of online threats.
5. Gained connections & support from awesome people (The Shures, Phillip DeFranco, ZJemptv, Householdhacker, PZ Meyers, Kiscie, Planned Parenthood, Sexual Futurist, EdenFantasys, Female Sexuality program @ my uni, etc).
6. Gained access to thousands of new perspectives and stories.
7. Started integrating my online experience with my real life goals for the future.
8. Experienced being used as a means for others’ success.
9. Expanded my initial goal of having 20 viewers to having 125,000 viewers.
10. Felt like I could actually help people.
11. Met sweet lovers and lasting friends online.



I wanted to share this quote about when I first started posting videos from a 2008 journal entry:

I was satiated because of this new kind of expression I had found. I had finally found a place where I could indulge in the part of my personality that was usually trapped behind my lips. On the internet, I could let it flow freely. The intense parts of me that were forbidden in my 3-D reality were suddenly unleashed. It didn’t take long for me to realize my possibilities were endless.

Thanks for everything, everyone…your support is a bigger compliment than I could ever put into words. Cheers to the next year :)