Best Sex Ever at UC Riverside Weds!

Hey everyone! Apologies for being MIA on the blog (again). I have a million things going on for just a few more weeks and then I’m hoping to have regular posting again!

Anywho, I’m going to be giving a guest lecture at UC Riverside this Wednesday at 7PM in 302 HUB. It is open to the public and free! Then, for my online peeps, I will be having dinner at Jafang Pizza afterward.

The Lecture
My presentation will provide you with the tools you need to have the “best sex ever”! Topics I’ll be covering include sexual anatomy, masturbation, STI stigma & prevention, enthusiastic consent, and doorways to sexploration.

The Dinner
After a bit of yelping, Jafang Pizza seems to be the only place relatively close to the school with cheap food & drinks that is open late. Not a lot of options out there, so I hope this one will fit the bill! Just like my other meetups, come on out for some lively chatter and nomnoms!

Hope to meet some of you there! :)

Yo Bachmann: Gardasil Does NOT Cause Mental Retardation

As some of you may have unfortunately witnessed in the most recent GOP debate, Michelle Bachmann has stirred a controversy igniting the creativities of conspiracy theorists and anti-vaxxers everywhere.

The story basically goes like this:

Governor Rick Perry issued an order in Texas to add HPV vaccines to the mandatory list of vaccinations required for grade school. While the order itself was overturned, Bachmann attempted to sting Perry by claiming that the vaccine is dangerous and could cause mental retardation. She claimed that the reason for Perry’s vaccination order was because Merck (the pharma company that produces Gardasil, the vaccine in question) had contributed to Perry’s campaign.

The facts go like this:

  • HPV, Human Papilloma Virus, or more commonly: genital warts is the most common STD worldwide and is the 2nd largest cause of female cancer (CDC).
  • In 2006, the FDA approved the first ever HPV vaccine which protects against most kinds of cancer-causing strains.
  • Investigations by the AMA, CDC, WHO, and other major health organizations have cleared the vaccine as safe. Of 23 million administered dosages, 772 (that’s .003%) reported serious effects. To be fair, all medications will have serious effects in a statistically insignificant portion of the population.
  • There is no evidence to support Bachmann’s claims. Though she has been asked to produce scientific material on the matter, she remains empty-handed.
  • Boys and girls ages 11-12 should be vaccinated before they are sexually active. The vaccination consists of 3 shots and will go a long way to protect the health of the youth and to combat this viciously contagious STD.
  • In the USA we have had mandatory vaccinations for school kids for decades. Parents have always had the option to refrain from vaccinating their kids. This is not changing.
  • But Bachmann hasn’t gone all wrong; there is reason to believe that Gov. Rick Perry is in the pocket of Merck. Most of our politicians have already been bought by large corporations. While this is alarming, unjust, and anger-inducing, it says nothing about the actual safety of Gardasil.

    In the coming year or two, prepare to hear a lot of bullshit coming out of politicians’ mouths about your sexual health. The bullshit is most often seen fountaining from the mouths of the conservative ones.

    The best weapon we have is knowledge. Research their claims against the claims of scientists and/or related professionals before you believe politicians. Arm yourself with information, and go forth powerfully and in good health.


  • When YEAST Strikes!

    Last week I had a ridiculously painful yeast infection. You know it’s coming on when everything down near the genitals gets inflamed, irritated, and itchy. Discharge thickens significantly, and the smell is much more musky. Yeast infections are extremely common and most people with a vagina will get at least one in their child bearing years. It is the same thing as thrush and athletes foot, only occurring in the vagina. It is not an STD or an STI and it has nothing to do with hygiene.

    Yeast infections occur when there is an overgrowth of yeast. In the vagina, this happens when the environment is disrupted. Increased moisture, weakened immune system, or an imbalance of the pH levels can all cause this.

    There are many treatment options for a yeast infection. Prescription wise, you might be given a single or multiple dose antifungal/antibiotic.

    However, a yeast infection is relatively easy to treat by yourself. I’ve had a handful of yeast infections so far (booo) and have so far been able to manage it. Here’s what has worked for me.

    1. Over the counter: You can get an over the counter yeast infection treatment to kick start the curing process and reduce the pain. If you are in a lot of pain, the one-dose ovules that are inserted up into the vagina can bring a sigh of relief. Monistat makes a pretty solid line, and the generic dupes (like Equate) are just as good. Just look at the ingredients and concentration percentages on the back to make sure that they are the same.

    2. At home: However, over the counter treatments can be very expensive, and in my experience, take just as long to work as home treatments (1 week – yes, it definitely sucks). I have found a killer duo that has brought me a lot of relief and gotten my sweet parts back to normal.

    External – natural, PLAIN, nonsweetened (SUGAR FREE!) yogurt. Apply directly to burning/itching spots on the vulva. It also helps to eat lots of yogurt!
    Internal – this is going to sound strange, but….garlic is amazing.

    Peel a clove–I prefer larger ones as they are easier to get out–and stick it up into your vagina while you sleep. After 9-10 hours, remove it. The anti-fungal properties of garlic are absolutely magical. Do this for a week.

    Some websites will advise that you slice the garlic. I do not. I have heard many a burning horror story when people cut the garlic open for more intense saturation.

    As far as getting it out, I didn’t have a problem getting them out, even the small cloves. If you need a little help, try pushing like you’re giving birth to it while your finger is in there. Then latch it and pull it out. If you’re worried about getting it out (you needn’t be – it cannot get lost or go anywhere) you could also wrap some cheese cloth around it with some twine. Leave the twine hanging outside of the vagina like a tampon string so you can simply pull it out when you’re done.

    Don’t forget to sport your cotton undies while you have a yeast infection, avoid yeasty foods (*ahem* beer) and drink lotsssss of water!

    Wishing you speedy relief,

    Abstinence Tips!

    I get email:

    So I’m nearly sixteen and I want to stay abstinent with my boyfriend until I’m ready and mature enough. Although sometimes it’s really hard to do so, I was wondering if you had any tips on how to stay abstinent. He respects my decision but I know he feels ready for sex so it’s hard for us to stay abstinent when we’re alone together. We love each other and don’t want this to ruin what we have :)


    Sounds like you’ve already taken the first step to get your needs met: talking about it. The mutual understanding that you have with your boyfriend is one of the most powerful tools you can use to keep your body in touch with your mind until you’re ready. When your ready, sex can be a creative force…not a destructive one! :)

    Here are a few tips if you don’t think you are ready to introduce sex into your life/relationship yet:

    1. Keep talking about your decision – keep updating each other on where you’re at with your readiness. This will also help to prepare you for a healthier sexual relationship when that time comes!

    2. Keep your underwear on – underwear can be a good place to draw the line if you’re not ready.

    3. Keep yourselves busy – if you don’t want to have sex, try to avoid situations that would be ideal for doing so.

    4. Use alternative practices – if you’re ready for it, masturbating together is a fun, safe way to obtain sexual release without sex. In the same vein is making out, strip teasing, and massages.

    5. Take a stance on drugs and alcohol in sexual situations – these can impair your judgment. Decide in advance if you want to use them.

    6. Question yourself – if you’re having a hard time in the moment, remind yourself of the reasons why you feel you are not ready to have sex.

    7. Pick a clear time for re-evaluation - consider choosing not to make any decisions about what you’re ready for while you’re in the moment with your boyfriend.

    And don’t forget, when you decide that the time is right for you, protect yourself. :)

    Other folks have tips of your own? Post them below!


    ADVICE: He won’t wear condoms.

    I get email:

    Hi laci. I have been watching your show for a long time and I know you always tell us to protect ourselves. I have been trying, but I have one problem. My boyfriend says that he does not want to wear condoms. He will not get tested either. Last night we had sex without one even though I really did not want to. Do you have any advice? Please help me I know I cant be the only person with this problem. Thank you


    J, good for you for trying! You are definitely NOT the only person with this problem. I can’t tell you how many discussions I have had to initiate after hearing some condom hate from my old high school students.

    The fact of the matter is this: you are doing the right thing in taking care of yourself and you have the right to assert your health needs with your partner. If he can’t respect your health, maybe it’s time to reconsider if he actually respects you.

    So, what to do about this refusal to wear condoms. I would say have him get tested so your risk is minimized without condoms…but it sounds like that didn’t go over very well. What excuses is he giving not to wear condoms? Here are some various responses you can give to things he might say:

    Him You
    It doesn’t feel good. 1. I don’t feel good when I don’t feel safe.
    2. The safer I feel, the wilder I get!
    They don’t fit. 1. There are lots of brands and sizes, lets find one that fits.
    2. If it’s too big for a condom, it’s too big for me.
    It ruins the mood. 1. Don’t we create the mood?
    2. I think safety is sexy.
    Just this once. 1. I have lots of condoms, let’s go more than once!
    2. Once more is one time too many for me.
    You think I’m going to give you something? 1. It’s not about you, I always use condoms to protect my health.
    2. Aren’t you worried about the same thing?

    Lastly J, don’t be afraid to be assertive to get what you need, whether that means “sorry then we can’t have sex”, or further discussion. It may help to talk about this anxiety you are having over the condoms situation. Tell him what you need, why you need it, and how your needs are going unmet. I would suggest bringing it up away from where you have sex when you are alone together. Within this discussion, if you feel comfortable, you might also bring up getting tested together. It can be fun – grab lunch together, go to the clinic, have steamy safer sex together when you’re done. :P

    Remember, it’s your body and your health. While many STIs are not serious, some are, and I don’t want to scare you…but it only takes one time to transmit a serious disease. Condoms don’t eliminate that risk, but they do significantly decrease it when used correctly. You deserve a partner who recognizes this and takes your health into account!

    Best of luck,

    PS: General info about using condoms here!