- “If we use sex toys, my girlfriend won’t want me anymore!”
- “Sex toys mean you are desperate or abnormal.”
- “Using sex toys will result in a loss of sensation or the inability to orgasm.”
- “Sex toys are only for women.”
Perhaps I’m overly spunky, but when I hear that somebody doesnt self pleasure, I feel a sudden burst of sympathy. It’s funny, because I impulsively classify it as tragic news. “You don’t masturbate? I am so sorry!” Cue hugs, back rubs, and braiding hair.
Any how, when I ask these characters (whom I meet at parties, from the internet, or students of mine) why it is they choose not to masturbate, I am usually met with a shrug or an apathetic sigh, as if to say, “Do we really have to go there?”
Okay fine, no, we don’t have to “go there” together…but you should definitely go there alone. Here are 10 reasons why:
1. Self pleasure is PLEASURABLE. Something that feels so good without hurting anyone can’t be that bad, right?
2. It promotes comfort and familiarity with your own body–and not JUST your genitals! You live in that skin–don’t you want to know how it works? :P
3. Self pleasure makes collaborative pleasure better. In other words, when you know your body better, you have better sex. This is because you are more relaxed and more familiar with the sexual responses of your body. Familiarity also helps turn, “Erm–you’re just a little off down there.” into “Can you move up a little bit? You’re just missing my clit.”
4. You can’t get pregnant. Or STDs/STIs. And…you don’t have to cuddle afterward. Well, if you don’t want. You may occasionally feel the urge to rub up on various objects.
5. Self pleasure promotes emotional well-being. Stimulation and orgasm releases endorphines just like laughter and a good work out. It’s an instant mood lift–without 10 easy payments of $19.95.
6. In fact, the endorphines released during self-pleasure are like a miracle drug. They can help you sleep an relieve stress. This is owed to the increased circulation and contractions of the muscles as well.
7. Self pleasure can alleviate or dull out menstrual cramps. The contractions of the muscles during orgasm are particularly beneficial. To be honest, it has helped me out much more than a hot pad and Midol.
8. Self pleasure can curb inappropriate or undesirable impulses. Face it, your bio teacher isn’t going to have sex with you. She will in your fantasies, though! Just keep it on the DL so nobody gets hurt.
9. Self pleasure helps maintain strong PC muscles (w00t stronger orgasms!) and good circulation in the body. It’s kind of like exercise, but most gyms don’t have a masturbation machine.
10. Self pleasure promotes openness and comfort with sexuality — we all know that this brings a whole host of positive energy, and if you’re lucky, a little bounce in your step.