50 More Ways To Be Sex Positive!

In this week’s sex+ called “The Slut Shamer“, I used a variety of mini-skits to give some basic principles of sex positivity. Here are 50 more things that I do to complement my sex positive lifestyle. Help grow this list by sharing your ways in the comments! Can you think of more ways to be sex positive? :)

explore & find out what feels good!

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She doesn’t want to give head.

email tiem.

I’ve been having some trouble with my girlfriend when it comes to
oral sex. I love giving oral sex, so I eat her out whenever I get the
chance. The problem is, however, that she doesn’t like doing the same for
me. I do not in any way feel entitled to receiving oral sex just because I
give it, but it does bum me out somewhat.

…It seems like a hopeless situation, and I’m simply starting to come to
terms with the fact that I’ll probably never get to experience a proper
blowjob again if our relationship lasts. This really bums me out, as
receiving oral sex is my favorite sexual activity… so I thought I could
at least ask you before giving up completely.

Not wanting to eat out/give head to a partner comes up soooo often. Whether it’s because it feels degrading, hurts their mouth (it happens), is an ick factor, or makes them doubt their prowess (“am i doing it right?”) it seems like a reality that some people just don’t like giving oral sex.

I used to be one of those people when I first became sexually active. Oral sex on a penis was one of the more off-putting aspects of sex and I wasn’t into it. While I didn’t avoid it because I felt like I had to do it, I also didn’t really look forward to it. The cum tasted gross and made me want to gag. It was physically uncomfortable. Every minute was a pain in the ass.

But with more sexual experience, that changed.

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5 Tips for Relationship WIN

1: Respect

Mutual respect is one of the most important foundations for a strong, healthy relationship. Respect means seeing each other as equals, treating them with dignity–even in conflict, empathizing with their needs, trusting them, and giving validation. This should be afforded to both partners.

2: Communicate

I CAN’T SAY THIS ENOUGH! Communicate about what you’re experiencing and what you need. Listen as your partner does the same. A calm, rational approach to communication can eliminate a shitload of fighting and drama. Practice non-threatening behavior, negotiation, and fairness. Keep each other on the same page and create an open environment to talk about issues as they come up.

3: Moderation

I see a tendency in younger relationships to become isolated from the world once you have a relationship. The two spend every hour together and many sacrifice fulfillment in other parts of their lives because it has been replaced by a new love. Alternatively, try to keep a level head. Don’t cut off your friends and family–your partner isn’t going anywhere! Having a strong support system in life comes from a myriad of people you love, not just a single one. Moving at a steady, healthy pace will help you to savor each milestone of increasing intimacy and connection. There is no rush.

4: Support

Provide support for each other’s ambitions, goals, endeavors, and day to day challenges. This is an important form of validation and generates positive esteem cycles in your relationship. Being a supportive lover helps to ward off (though won’t eliminate) negative emotions like jealousy and entitlement.

5: Enjoy

Have FUN! Relationships can bring love, wonder, and new learning experiences into your life for you to enjoy. Savor them! No relationship will be without challenge, however. There will be struggle, there will be conflict. Take time to work through rough periods, but overall, your take away from relationships should be primarily positive. If you are more frequently hurt, confused, or upset, reflect upon whether or not this is the relationship for you.

What tips do YOU have for strong, healthy relationships? Check out what others have to say & leave yours below :)