“I want Chris Brown to beat me up!!” – The Horrors of Abuse Culture

Court documents about Chris Brown’s violence against Rihanna were released last week. I’m going to warn you, this is really hard to read, and potentially triggering if you are an abuse survivor. If you can manage, I think the context is important. Full version here, but here are some pieces of it.

“Brown was driving a vehicle with Robyn F. as the front passenger on an unknown street in Los Angeles. Robyn F. picked up Brown’s cellular phone and observed a three-page text message from a woman who Brown had a previous sexual relationship with.

…When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against he passenger window of the vehicle, causing an approximate one-inch raised circular contusion.

“Robyn F. turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused Robyn F.’s mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.

“Brown looked at Robyn F. and stated, ‘I’m going to beat the sh– out of you when we get home! You wait and see!’

… After Robyn F. faked the call, Brown looked at her and stated, ‘You just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I’m really going to kill you!’

…Brown continued to punch Robyn F. on her left arm and hand, causing her to suffer a contusion on her left triceps (sic) that was approximately two inches in diameter and numerous contusions on her left hand.

…“Brown did not know what she did with the key and began punching her in the face and arms. He then placed her in a head lock positioning the front of her throat between his bicep and forearm. Brown began applying pressure to Robyn F.’s left and right carotid arteries, causing her to be unable to breathe and she began to lose consciousness.

Let it be known that there are thousands upon thousands of cases like this. Having worked as an abuse crisis counselor for a few years, I’ve encountered hundreds myself. Rihanna is a celebrity, so this case is widely publicized, but it is a reality that every 9 seconds, a woman is assaulted or beaten in the US.

In the ensuing media shitfest of Chris Brown’s abuse, a lot of truly upsetting things have happened–all of which reflect abuse culture. Abuse culture is characterized by our society’s attitude of victim-blaming, lack of abuser accountability, permissiveness and general apathy to abuse, and resistance to acknowledging/addressing abuse in a realistic way.

(1) The first major wave was of people blaming Rihanna for getting beat up. Y’know, she had that mouth full of blood comin! There were many other forms of dismissing the abuse as well, including making light of it.

Continue reading

President Roosevelt…in a dress?

Speaking of gender….

Ah, an ode to the “gender obsession” that has only recently been exhibited in much of the world. I remember once getting into my parents’ old photo box. My dad got super flustered and embarrassed when I pulled out a picture of him as a baby living in Iran. There he was in the garden with my grandma, sporting long curly locks & a big poofy dress. Haha, I find it hilarious how deeply the photo seems to disturb him. It’s definitely not considered “normal” anymore to grow a male child’s hair out and dress them in dresses.

If the baby has a penis, we gender them “boy” and immediately immerse them in their social training about what it means to be a boy. I recall a particularly amusing episode of Rugrats which commented on this phenomenon. In the episode “Clan of the Duck“, Chuckie and Phil notice that Betty (feminist mama extraordinaire, incase you didn’t catch that when you were 7) wears pants. With a swift kick of radical baby logic, they decide that it’s not fair that boys aren’t allowed to wear dresses. So, they cross dress. The commentary thickens as Chuckie and Phil embark on an adventure wherein they encounter other babies who think that they are girls. Oh mayn. I love Rugrats.

Continue reading

“Boycott Girl Scout Cookies!” said the Girl Scout.

If you’ve been keeping up with your viral videos lately, you may have come across the 14 year old Girl Scout named Taylor.

Taylor posted a video advocating for this year’s Girl Scout cookie fundraiser to be boycotted because Girl Scouts allows transgender girls to participate in the program.

Continue reading

Twilight, Mormonism, and Meyer

hey all!

So, I realize that I haven’t been updating my site as much as some of you might like. To put you in the loop, my friend Allan & I are currently working on giving it a simpler, cleaner look. It’s been taking awhile because I’ve been kind of busy, but it’s coming! When it does, I will be using it more like tumblr and updating lots throughout the week.

For now I will continue to post my bonus vids & keep you updated as necessary!

xx