Orgasm is about the build up. Instead of spending 10 minutes (the average) on foreplay, try spending at least a half hour. Foreplay ideas: kissing, caressing, manual stimulation, oral sex, body worship (work your way up or down their body giving explicit attention to various erogenous zones – including neck, breasts, upper and lower back, hips, booty, inner thighs, calves, and feet), back/body/head massage, strip teases, sexy talk, etc. Take time to savor every sensation!
If you feel like you’re about to cum, try to bring yourself back down. Repeat a few times before allowing yourself to go, and when you do, the sensation will be much more intense.
This is a 2 step formula that starts with knowing what you like. Use masturbation as a guide to figure out what really gets you going. What areas feel good to be touched? How do you like them touched? What rhythm feels good to you? What fantasies do you have while you are masturbating? These are all things you can take away from masturbation and communicate with your partner. There’s no shame in giving them some guidance, it will help both of you out!
Running with our theme of delay, which is one of the quickest and most efficient approaches to orgasm strengthening, try holding off from sex/masturbation for awhile. Try waiting a few days or–if you’re brave–a week. The release of the tension is unmatched when it has been a long time. Because of the fullness in the pelvis and the lack of fluid release, ejaculation will take on a heightened intensity. Some male bodied people get more pleasure out of a higher volume of fluid shooting through the urethra. For female bodies, the clitoris will have heightened sensitivity and lighter strokes will go further.
For male and female bodies, strengthening the PC muscles has an array of benefits, including more control over your orgasms and a path to stronger, earth-shattering types of orgasms. To strengthen your PC muscles, practice stopping your stream of pee. Those muscles that you contract to do so are called your PC muscles and they can be exercised anywhere! (My favorite is during a particularly boring lecture.) Another way for female bodies to strengthen their PC muscles is to use ben wa balls. I will be making a ben wa tutorial video soon. Over time, you will be able to contract your PC muscles very quickly during the act- think butterfly wings – which will bring a new dimension to your orgasms. Even without contracting, strong PC muscles still increase the strength of the orgasm.