“I feel attracted to x, but I’m not sure if I qualify as ‘this label’ or ‘that label’, can you help explain these labels so I can pick the right one?”
Pansexual, asexual, gray-a, demisexual, boyqueen, genderqueer, panromantic, aromantic, homosexual, bisexual, queer, femme, andro, agender, bigender, butch, ….omg there are so many identity label choices!
Here’s a reminder about all those choices: you define those labels, those labels do not define you!
Labels are tools to understand the vast array of gender/romantic/sexual identity possibilities; they are not rigidly defined categories of people that you need to properly fit your identity under. You are already you, with or without the labels.
Instead, it’s helped me to reframe it like this:
Say it’s your sexual orientation label in question. Start thinking about what you do/don’t enjoy sexually, who you enjoy being sexual with, what kinds of things make you horny, what you’re curious about, and so on. Then, whenever you want or need a label to describe your sexual orientation, try on a label you feel comfortable with. Use the label so long as it helps you, but never allow yourself to feel any pressure to do that label “right”. You ARE your label. Your label is not you.
See what I’m saying?
As soon as a label starts to define you instead of you defining it, it’s time to drop it like it’s hot.