Here’s one of those subjects that YouTube would force me to censor.
One of my long-time viewers that I recently started following on Twitter requested the clitoris be discussed in the Sex+ survey I distributed at the end of 2010. Specifically, he wanted to know where it is.
ZOMG so cute, right?! It’s right there above the vagina itself, nestled in the fold of the labia minora. If you rest your palm centered on her pubic bone, your middle finger will run on top of the clitoris. It is a relatively small bump (though they come in all different sizes!) and it will engorge when she’s aroused; remember, it is the female equivalent of the penis. That is to say, the clitoris has all the nerve endings of the glans of the penis packed into a much smaller space–no wonder it’s so sensitive!
That’s another thing. The clitoris, well, it’s generally a sensitive little piece of equipment. So sensitive, that many women can’t handle the intense contact of fingers to clitoris. To ease the friction, you might try using a little lubricant or rubbing just slightly above it instead. In all endeavors, the clitoris demands fragile TLC, and over-stimulation can be numbing, painful, or diminish the sensation it brings. This is why gentle licking, sucking, or soft circular rubbing are popular favorites of women.
The clitoris also deserves special attention because it is the most common way that women orgasm (for more on that check out Sexual Feeling in Married Men and Women by George Kelly). Stimulation of the clitoris is a vital piece of many women’s enjoyment of sex, so don’t neglect it, even during envelopment. Using hands or certain positions (woman on top) during sex can help with that.