Here’s one of those subjects that YouTube would force me to censor.
One of my long-time viewers that I recently started following on Twitter requested the clitoris be discussed in the Sex+ survey I distributed at the end of 2010. Specifically, he wanted to know where it is.
Here’s a diagram I graffiti’d:
ZOMG so cute, right?! It’s right there above the vagina itself, nestled in the fold of the labia minora. If you rest your palm centered on her pubic bone, your middle finger will run on top of the clitoris. It is a relatively small bump (though they come in all different sizes!) and it will engorge when she’s aroused; remember, it is the female equivalent of the penis. That is to say, the clitoris has all the nerve endings of the glans of the penis packed into a much smaller space–no wonder it’s so sensitive!
That’s another thing. The clitoris, well, it’s generally a sensitive little piece of equipment. So sensitive, that many women can’t handle the intense contact of fingers to clitoris. To ease the friction, you might try using a little lubricant or rubbing just slightly above it instead. In all endeavors, the clitoris demands fragile TLC, and over-stimulation can be numbing, painful, or diminish the sensation it brings. This is why gentle licking, sucking, or soft circular rubbing are popular favorites of women.
The clitoris also deserves special attention because it is the most common way that women orgasm (for more on that check out Sexual Feeling in Married Men and Women by George Kelly). Stimulation of the clitoris is a vital piece of many women’s enjoyment of sex, so don’t neglect it, even during envelopment. Using hands or certain positions (woman on top) during sex can help with that.
When I was a sophomore, I had to explain to a group of 7+ girls what the clitoris is. They ran into the term while researching for a paper on steroids (which apparently can cause it to enlarge). It was absolutely mortifying. Luckily, I didn’t have to draw a diagram. I’m also sure that it was possibly more embarrassing for them, because it illustrated their lack of knowledge of their own body. It’s no surprise that this sexually-uneducated school had such high teen pregnancy rates.
Holy! That’s so sad. :(
I once overheard a FOAF who was probably a junior in high school at the time say “I have to take my tampon out so I can pee.”
facepalm, on about 12 different levels.
“So sensitive, that many women can’t handle the intense contact of fingers to clitoris”
I wasn’t actually aware of this. I thought it was just my current lady friend who, kinda comically, tweeks out little when ever I run a finger over her clitoris.
I thought it was a “her” thing, because she’s generally more sensitive than the others I’ve been with.
You know it’s not just a bump. I think that presenting a model of the whole clitoris every time we are educating on that subject helps women integrate their feelings during stimulation with what we teach. I had so much light-bulb moments when I read Rebbecca Chalker’s Clitoral Truth – everything started making perfect sense – the statistic that 70% of women need clit stim, difficulty peeing after orgasm…
Women are weird lol, I had a girlfriend last year that told me I was the first guy that got her off with just g-spot stimulation (she still preferred the “c-button”) and my current girlfriend seems to prefer penetration more.
I read an article about the clitoris (nothing suss!) and i found out that some women don’t even know where there own clitoris is by the age of 17. I awkwardly had to show my girlfriend where hers was. I was somewhat mind boggled.
“So sensitive, that many women can’t handle the intense contact of fingers to clitoris”
I NEVER KNEW THIS EITHER
and i’m a girl!!!
i thought there mightve been something wrong with me and i wasn’t sure what to do about it
i learn new things every time you post something
“So sensitive, that many women can’t handle the intense contact of fingers to clitoris”
So glad I found this. I recently became sexually active so I thought I was just being super sensitive and it was something I would just get used to. I tell my boyfriend it’s too much sometimes and he doesn’t get it, but now I can explain all this to him! Thank you so much!
Haha! This reminds me of the time my roommates and I were spending time together n the living room and for some reason we were discussing sex and orgasms. Well the topic of the clitoris was bound to arise. I seemed to be the only person to know where it was located. (Mind you we are all in our 20s). So here I was trying to explain the location and googleing pictures of vagina’s. My one roommate (who happened to have a twin – who was also my roommate) desperately wanted to find her clit. She ran into the bathroom, but within a few mins called for her twin to help her find it!! Best laugh I’ve had in a long time. I was glad to have been educated enough to enlighten them all.
I usually stimulate clitoris with the hose of my shower(rather than a million tiny water flows it’s just one big one, best. thing. ever.) whilst taking a bath and I do think I have hit orgasm a few times, but if I remove the hose whilst having a good time I feel way to sensitive to stimulate it again, I cant even touch it with my hand, and I need to take a five minute break before the extreme sensitivity is gone and I can get off again.
I dont know if it is because I am done getting off, or if I am just getting, started, and I havent really been able to find an answer.
Hope this sounds some-what relateable to someone!
There needs to be more people like you to teach these things. My wife loves the orgasms I give her and the ensuing intercourse afterwards drives her wild :).
So now that I’ve seen you say that intense contact is not so hot for most women, how in the hell do you tell your boyfriend of almost a year that that shit hurts!?
I am a bit confused… Is the numbing temporary or permanent… because i’ve never expirienced it so I was so sensitive i couldnt touch it, i know once when i was 8 i fell on the side of my bath tub right on my clit and it hurt like helllllllllll so badly i remember it to this day… could that cause me to be less sensitive than other people??
I dont think so :) Sometimes after an orgasm im slightly numb down there, and other times im not. I think it just depends on the person.
They should teach all of this information to men to, not just women. I had to teach my boyfriend where everything was down there because he had no idea. It doesnt hurt to be aware of your self just as you are with the opposite sex