“I want Chris Brown to beat me up!!” – The Horrors of Abuse Culture

Court documents about Chris Brown’s violence against Rihanna were released last week. I’m going to warn you, this is really hard to read, and potentially triggering if you are an abuse survivor. If you can manage, I think the context is important. Full version here, but here are some pieces of it.

“Brown was driving a vehicle with Robyn F. as the front passenger on an unknown street in Los Angeles. Robyn F. picked up Brown’s cellular phone and observed a three-page text message from a woman who Brown had a previous sexual relationship with.

…When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against he passenger window of the vehicle, causing an approximate one-inch raised circular contusion.

“Robyn F. turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused Robyn F.’s mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.

“Brown looked at Robyn F. and stated, ‘I’m going to beat the sh– out of you when we get home! You wait and see!’

… After Robyn F. faked the call, Brown looked at her and stated, ‘You just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I’m really going to kill you!’

…Brown continued to punch Robyn F. on her left arm and hand, causing her to suffer a contusion on her left triceps (sic) that was approximately two inches in diameter and numerous contusions on her left hand.

…“Brown did not know what she did with the key and began punching her in the face and arms. He then placed her in a head lock positioning the front of her throat between his bicep and forearm. Brown began applying pressure to Robyn F.’s left and right carotid arteries, causing her to be unable to breathe and she began to lose consciousness.

Let it be known that there are thousands upon thousands of cases like this. Having worked as an abuse crisis counselor for a few years, I’ve encountered hundreds myself. Rihanna is a celebrity, so this case is widely publicized, but it is a reality that every 9 seconds, a woman is assaulted or beaten in the US.

In the ensuing media shitfest of Chris Brown’s abuse, a lot of truly upsetting things have happened–all of which reflect abuse culture. Abuse culture is characterized by our society’s attitude of victim-blaming, lack of abuser accountability, permissiveness and general apathy to abuse, and resistance to acknowledging/addressing abuse in a realistic way.

(1) The first major wave was of people blaming Rihanna for getting beat up. Y’know, she had that mouth full of blood comin! There were many other forms of dismissing the abuse as well, including making light of it.

(2) The second was the outright violation of Rihanna’s privacy in the whole situation. Media outlets took no time to exploit her abuse photos for profit and traffic. People even sold pictures of her in the hospital! Unfuckingbelievable. While a degree of publicity is to be expected as a celebrity, this sort of response is far from acceptable.

(3) The third was Chris Brown’s failure to give a genuine apology & change his attitude. What was released by Brown was an obvious PR move; no sincere disgust with his actions was ever conveyed. How do we know this? Every time the abuse is brought up, the angry, unapologetic, egotistical shithead within him shines bright. Most recently, when the pictures of the abuse were released, Brown had the nerve to tweet: “The Devil is always busy!! But when u have a destiny, nothing or no one can stop what god has planned!”

Right. Exposing his fuckheadery is “the devil’s work”. There’s nothing more malicious & evil than bringing up his abuse. And right before his new album too! Injustice, I tell you.

(4) Further in the misappropriation of victim/perpetrator, the Grammys had the gall to come out and claim that they were the victim of the abuse. Forget Rihanna’s hospitalization, we were the ones who really had it rough!

(5) Since the two have decided to collaborate musically, Rihanna has been taking a lot of shit. This is a typical response to this common phenomenon of abused women returning to their abuser – “What a dumbass!” “Wow she’s so stupid!” “She’s asking for it!” These responses demonstrate an ignorance to relationship abuse dynamics.

Real talk: It is a reality that women often go back. In fact, on average, a woman will leave an abusive relationship 7 TIMES before getting out for good. Why does this happen? Are these women just that stupid? No, they’re not stupid. They are survivors. Abused women have common sense just like you and I. Abused women are not morons and they are not asking for more abuse, they are responding to their environment. This environment is usually more complicated than a black and white/stay or leave diagnosis. There are a number of reasons women often go back, varying from psychological to economic, from very complex to quite simple. These abuse dynamics have been explored and corroborated by social scientists studying domestic violence (here & here & here). While I will def cover this in much more depth in the future, for now I will point you to my “When Love Gets Violent” video, and you can also find more detail on it here and here.

What abused people like Rihanna don’t benefit from is a bunch of people telling them how awful they are and what they should do. This is disempowering, controlling, degrading, and doesn’t advance their situation one bit. As much as it might seem justified or helpful, it’s not. This only contributes to the pattern of their abuse. These attitudes are abuse culture embodied – nothing short of victim-blaming, cycle-of-violence perpetuating nastiness, no matter how well intentioned it might feel. Instead, abuse victims need resources, education and they need to hear that they’re worth more. Abuse survivors are individuals who have been robbed of their power, and it’s our job as a society to give power back to them. Abuse advocates work to empower survivors to make the decisions that are best for them when they are ready to make them, and to provide them with the support that they need throughout this challenging (but effective!) process. Conversation around the dynamics that keep women coming back needs to flow freely and there should never, ever be any talk of her “deserving it” when the abuser gets violent again. There’s not a single excuse for their abuse. Not even being around someone they have abused before.

(6) You’ve probably seen these tweets making their rounds on the internet.

It is truly sad to see young women worshipping abusers. It makes me feel like all of our voices trying to end abuse have barely made a dent against the violence accepted in our culture. It’s abuse culture that makes it seem as if Brown’s behavior is OK, like this behavior isn’t something that should send a chill through every man, woman, and child’s bones when they hear about it.

The sentiments expressed in these tweets are one example of how abuse culture permeates every layer of society, infecting everyone with its poison, setting our youth up for unhealthy relationships, continuing its never-ending cycle of violence.

I want to tell these young women that I’m sorry we live in a culture that tells them this is what love looks like. I’m sorry that we rarely have an honest conversation about abuse, that so many people remain ignorant, that the cycle seems to never end. I want to tell them that they deserve better. I want to tell them that violence is not a form of love or affection, and that Chris Brown’s actions were not some form of kinky, consensual BDSM. I want to tell them that love will never, ever put you in a hospital.

I want to tell these young women, survivors of abuse, their children, and Rihanna: I’m sorry that we, as a society, have failed you.

45 thoughts on ““I want Chris Brown to beat me up!!” – The Horrors of Abuse Culture

  1. What are your thoughts about women that choose men with those tendencies enough times to be considered a pattern? I can think of how they could have psychological issues that go back to child abuse or something, but how do you see it with your more experienced eyes? These questions are not rhetorical and not meant to insinuate an “obvious response.” I am sincerely curious.

    • Well, I think it depends on the exact situation and the exact woman. Part of it is that certain traits that tend to be associated with abusive behavior such as being jealous or dominant are glorified by our culture. Then of course, there are women that have been abused as children and see that behavior as normal. And then there are women who subconsciously don’t believe they deserve any better. And there’s also the fact that if your first relationship was abusive, you might start to think that’s how relationships work. Also never underestimate the power of good ol’ fashioned Stockholm syndrome. If a guy is cruel 90% of the time, the 10% of the time that he’s kind and sweet stand out that much more, so women who are in abusive relationships tend to defend the man their with by saying “Oh but he bought me flowers! And serenaded me!” When you’ve had this happen for a while, it starts to skew your perception.

  2. I feel really sorry for her… I hope she can get away from him permanently.. I’m not going to blame her for going back to him, I personally have never been in a physically abusive relationship, but I know people that have, and leaving is much easier said than done.
    I have to say, the response to this event seems to reflect a lot of ignorance, in our culture, regarding domestic abuse… as for the people who are volunteering to be abused – I honestly have to wonder if they have EVER been attacked before. If you’ve ever been beaten, hit, attacked, or abused in any way, I don’t see how you could even consider letting someone – no matter who they are – do it to you voluntarily!
    This isn’t like a boxing match, where there a rules and people around to prevent you from getting to fucked up, he could have KILLED HER, or caused permanent damage! and beyond that, it’s a way of breaking someone’s will, and claiming ALL of the power in a relationship! I wouldn’t be surprised to find out she’s afraid to leave him for good, just because he won’t let her!

    Gr! ><

  3. As a survivor of abuse, I am absolutely appalled at those tweets from girls referencing Chris Brown. Shame on them for promoting LET ALONE degrading themselves in such a horrible way! They are not only inviting those that deem these things OK to “Come on down and beat the shit out of them”, but they obviously have no self respect. Maybe they had been in an abusive relationship and thought this was the norm, causing them to seek this kind of attention.

    Also, Chris Brown can go screw himself. To claim that the release of the photos and the report as a PR stunt against him is RIDICULOUS. The fact that so many people have forgiven and forgotten so quickly as to what he did boosts his ego that much more. It wasn’t reported in this blog, but shortly after the initial allegations of the abuse, he was asked about it while in a waiting room for an interview and became so enraged, he threw a chair through a window, storming out of the place in a hurry.

    This man seriously needs some help, but will anyone step in to tell him he’s in the wrong, and ACTUALLY get through to him? No! Because he’s so ignorant, he believes he’s the correct one in any and all situations…much like any abuser. It is their go to hiding place, which ironically is often in the spotlight.

    Thank you for writing this, Laci. <3

    • “Maybe they had been in an abusive relationship and thought this was the norm, causing them to seek this kind of attention.”

      I think it’s the other way round… They just don’t realize what abuse REALLY is. What it feels like, what it does to you… I think they’re just super silly, young and ignorant, at least most of them. :/

      “This man seriously needs some help, but will anyone step in to tell him he’s in the wrong, and ACTUALLY get through to him? No! Because he’s so ignorant, he believes he’s the correct one in any and all situations…much like any abuser. It is their go to hiding place, which ironically is often in the spotlight.”

      THIS. So much.

  4. Everything about this is just sad. These are common patterns playing out in the public eye. Which just makes it so much worse. I can understand why people that don’t know much about domestic violence think of her as being stupid, or “asking for it.” They just see it as being illogical, since they can’t understand-or are just unfamiliar with-any possible motives behind it. I just hope none of her/their fans see what they’re doing and mimic it in anyway.

  5. Well I did a twitter search for @chrisbrown after I read this and I officially hate most of my fellow man. How is there anybody on earth who would listen to that asshole. What the fuck is wrong with his -fans-, i’m reminded of that scene in “Natural born killers” where the serial killers have a huge fan base. That was supposed to be an exaggerated statement on the sensationalism of media’s ability to portray anybody in a good light. It’s not actually supposed to fucking happen.

    I know I do not and cannot have the frame of reference to understand the thought process that Rihanna is going through. Though I would not verbalise it I do feel in part that she’s an idiot for going back. I *DO* realise it’s not that simple and that I have been conditioned to think this way by 23 years of social conditioning so I try and understand. But here’s a wealthy successful woman with no economic shortages/low self esteem/etc who is voluntarily returning to the man who publically beat her and was incredibly unapologetic for it afterwards. (not that an apology is worth fuck all but still). I wish I had context to draw on here to understand why she is doing this. I think that is the main reason that men dismiss this kind of behavior as “her fault” , we rarely experience anything like the events/pressures and emotions that can force somebody into these situations, instead trying to apply our own experience to these event.

    That said I do know that all the blame lies with that shitbag Chris Brown here, I don’t blame Rihanna but I can’t stop myself wondering what the hell is she thinking. I’m angry at her for the message I see her sending to all her young female fans, that she as a rolemodel should be denouncing that prick from atop the mountains not singing side by side. I wonder if these events will directly contribute to a future abuse victim forgiving her abuser because Rihanna did it…

    P.S as I proof read back over this I can even see myself blaming her unintentionally. To my mind it’s an absolute, Chris Brown is the worst kind of person and he should suffer. I’d never support his music, I’d have hoped he would be dropped from his label and and black balled from the industry to go die alone never to know a woman’s touch again. But that won’t happen because he makes a lot of executives wealthy and they do not have morals when it comes to revenue sources.

    So why I see the victim willing to go back to her abuser despite no visible external forces I can’t help but unintentionally assign fault…. I need to research more into this to try and understand the thought processes of the abused. :/

  6. Those tweets are f’ing sickening. And abusers are just as sick too. I want to beat the sh!t out of all of ‘em, but I have basic human decency and would never hurt someone, unless out of self-defense. And never will I be as cowardly as to hit a woman, you just don’t do that shit. I thought we decided this a long ass time ago…

    I agree with Lacy, I’m sorry we as a society suck so much. We try, but some people just keep fucking it up. =(

  7. My thing is that this is awful etc BUT if every frigging person who sits behind their computers complaining about this actually went and volunteered your time at a centre for abused women or go and out spread awareness. Crucifying ONE man and trying to use him as an example wont get us ANYWHERE! We live in such a HYPOCRITICAL SOCIETY Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson and a host of men in Hollywood have been arrested for domestic abuse.I don’t understand how we pick and choose who to crucify 0.o. Especially older people Glen Campbell kicked Tanya’s ass when they were together has the country music industry turn against him no …never ! I am just sick and tired of this because the reason girls play into this is because we are not consistent in our expectations of different celebrities. if each celebrity who was accused of domestic violence actually was called to question people wouldnt make light of this situation.

  8. Laci, THANK YOU. I cannot put into words how disturbed and angered I was to find out about these fan tweets; as if the continued idolization of Chris Brown isn’t angering enough.

    To respond to Billy’s point up there, yes indeed childhood abuse plays a part in it. I was abused by my father starting around 5-7 years old and it steadily grew worse as I got older. I won’t get into details because they can be pretty triggering, but needless to say he started to back off once I turned 18, because then it became assault and he could get in more trouble for it (I tried to get help around 15-16 years old and nobody would listen). At my high school graduation party, he told my then boyfriend that it was okay to, and I quote, “smack me around.”

    Only a couple years ago, when I was 25, he picked a fight with me over something I had nothing to do with, and came at me. I put my hands up in defense, and his response was to tell me that if I even tried to call the cops, he would kill me. That wasn’t the first time he had made that threat, I assure you.

    The last relationship I was in was, sadly, my daddy issues presenting themselves. I unconsciously wound up with someone just like my dad, someone who admitted to enjoying mindgames. Coming to the realization that my never properly dealing with my past is what led to that relationship is probably one of the scariest times of my life. It lead to the decision to stay out of a relationship until I am confident enough in my ability to not repeat history.

    • If you are still looking for help, I am pretty sure Laci has links somewhere around here to provide for you.

      Give me a minute and let me see if I can find them.

    • I am so sorry that you went through this. Such lack of respect for women. As a woman nothing infuriates me more than to see someone bigger or stronger taking advantage of their size.
      I know that you don’t really want to hear sorry or what you should do but I will say that you should take a self-defense class many sheriff’s offices offer them, press charges (not only because of yourself which should be the main reason but also because if you get away this person will probably do the same to somebody else or worse), carry pepper spray with you (I want to see a man trying to hit you or abuse you when he is rolling on the floor from pain), and get a conceal carry permit so you can carry a gun to defend yourself (you can take classes at any shooting range).

  9. Now, while I don’t blame Rihanna for the abuse or Chris Brown’s general behaviour in any way, I’m a bit disappointed that she would actually voluntarily go anywhere near him again. The thing is, she is a celebrity, a role model to many young girls. How she behaves behind locked doors is none of our business, however, I think it’s her responsibility to think about how this will affect her fans, what message she’s sending.

    That said, I still can’t believe there’s people listening to Chris Brown’s music… I didn’t listen much to it before, but now I just avoid it on principle.

    • Even without him committing domestic violence there are very good reasons not to listen to the f’heads music, but I appreciate the idea/boycott :).

      • Yeah, definitely, boycott him !! I don’t care about his kind of music anyway, but has anyone in his right mind, I mean anyone here READ his lyrics ? I only know one song, Deuces it’s called. English isn’t my mother tongue, but boy, is it insignificantly weak. I believe it’s related to Rihanna but I can’t tell for sure. Anyway it’s about being fed up with his grilfirend because she’s annoying, likes Chicago and other girly stuf, and he’s found another one anyway. Besides the one about the girlfriend calling him a “dick” and him cleverly noting she didn’t seem to mind it, there’s that very tasteful wordplay : “and then it hit me, like Hike did Tina”……………………………………………………..
        The whole song speaks volumes about this little shithead.

        • http://www.elyricsworld.com/deuces_lyrics_chris_brown.html
          (…) You’ll regret the day when I find another girl, yeah
          Who knows just what I need, she knows just what I mean
          When I tell her keep it drama free (…)
          Thought it was true love, but you know women lie
          Its like I sent my love with a text two times
          Call cause I care but I aint get no reply (…)
          I hate liars, fuck love Im tired of tryin
          My heart big but it beat quiet (…)
          Look, my shorty always on some bullshit like Chicago
          So I flip that middle finger and the index finger follow.
          Deuces, we aint got no future in tomorrow
          I’m a dick, so it shouldn’t be that hard to swallow
          The other chick Im with never complain
          She make wanna leave the one im with (…)
          Shorty full of drama like gangsta grizzles
          I finally noticed it, it finally hit me
          Like Tina did Ike in the limo, it finally hit me
          I got a new chick, and she aint you (…)

    • I believe what Laci is saying is that Rihanna and Chris Brown’s relationship IS an abusive one and, therefore, there are most likely many reasons as to why she is going back to interacting with him and being with him that we do not understand and probably never will. Like Laci said in the article… “abuse victims need resources, education and they need to hear that they’re worth more. Abuse survivors are individuals who have been robbed of their power, and it’s our job as a society to give power back to them.” Also, because all of the information we get from their relationship is from the media, we most likely do not get the whole story. So I’m not sure anyone can really say what she should or shouldn’t do.

      • Of course no one can tell her what to do, but just as there are many perks to being a famous person that a lot of people look up to, there are also some responsibilities. Not legal or anything like that, but moral, I believe. As I said before, her private life is none of my concern… The thing is, her going back to him is not just on a personal level but on a professional one… and that is what bothers me.

  10. Thank you Laci green. :’( We need more education about abuse and all kinds of abuse not just physical abuse.
    I’m an abuse survivor but I’ve never been hit by anyone. I don’t want to be abused and not realise it anymore and I don’t want anyone else to ever be abused anymore. We need to educate to eliminate this problem.

  11. Very scary to see young women saying that they want to get beaten up. It makes me feel soooooo sad to see this. It is unbelievable that in this day and age a man would feel that they can get away with it.
    What I think is that every woman should do some self-defense training, carry some pepper spray and get your conceal carry permit for your state. I want to see those men having the balls to abuse a woman when he has a gun pointed at his face. Hate people that try to take advantage of weaker or smaller people.
    Don’t make yourself a victim and don’t think the police will come running to rescue you or somebody else will. YOU have to take care of yourself!
    Very common thing you learn about in social psychology classes is about the “bystander effect” you can learn about it really quick on: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect.
    Practically what it is, is that Kitty Genovese was a woman walking home and a man stabs her and she is screaming for help. Tons of people hear and see this but not one person does anything. Everyone assumes somebody else already did something. The man comes back and finishes stabbing her until he kills her.
    Do you really want to wait for somebody to “rescue” you? Don’t allow this society to make you feel that you are a helpless little woman. Protect yourself!
    Carry a weapon on you. Legally of course and go to training but don’t give the opportunity to some asshole like this to take advantage of you. I bet most of the time they will just run away when they see you are not helpless!

  12. have you even seen the types of songs rihanna has put out after the whole beating thing, and who she dated afterwards?
    if rihanna is back with chris brown after he did that to her either she is dumb or she really did something to deserve it. (sorry it needs to be said)

    • Being stupid isn’t the same as being deserving of punishment.

      Just because it can be difficult or frustrating to help someone doesn’t make it right to simply let them suffer.

    • I’m not going to lie, Rihanna’s song “S&M” is not what I would call a smart move (and I hate it as a song) after what happened considering ignorant fans of CB act as if it was a consensual “fun” beating as witnessed by the stupid “I wish Chris Brown would beat me!” tweets.

      BUT, she has a right to sing about what she wants! Even if she loves to partake in S&M it’s OBVIOUS that what happened was not S&M and it went too far and wasn’t at all consensual or fun for her.

  13. I wanted to cry reading this… I really did. Seeing those tweets, seeing what people say… I don’t like this at all. Why do people do this? I’ve grown up in a sometimes verbally abusive household, and I still believe this is NOT okay… I want to find a way to stop this way of thinking. I want to do something.

  14. This reminds me of a fictional book I was reading one time about New York City from the time of dutch colonization to shortly after the revolutionary war. This one woman had an alcoholic for a husband and decided to cheat on him with the new doctor in town. Boy was the husband pissed when he found out. He wasn’t able to see her for a couple of days but when he finally did she was walking around with a cloak and hood covering her face. Underneath it her eyes were swollen and she had black and blue marks. She later comments “I don’t know what to do. I can’t take this to the council. As his wife the law says he’s allowed to beat me as much as he wants as long as he doesn’t kill me.”

  15. It makes me sick to my stomach that Chris Brown is even allowed in the public eye as a celebrity or as anything other than a horrible pariah. I mean he beat his girlfriend! It is indisputable that he did it and he doesn’t seem the least bit GENUINELY sorry. Yet the media is acting like nothing happened and young women are blaming Rihanna and saying “she must have done something to set him off.” Well, who really cares! If she had he still had no right to beat her like that.

    His fans are unfortunately probably beyond help if they are defending this. And I don’t mean that as a joke, they are stuck in a horrible mindset and may be the exact sort of women who grew up thinking abuse is alright and would seek out that sort of destructive relationship. The people who continue to push him into the spotlight in a congratulatory manner aren’t helping these women out. I’m most appalled at the media for not just forgetting this guy forever. He’s not even talented enough to deserve bouncing back from a thing like this. Hell, Ne-yo is a better substitute for Chris Brown, he’ a better singer, dancer, and dresser than CB is why not give him the attention instead?

  16. I am not familiar with the ins and outs of the case with Chris Brown and Rihanna, I only know what this post says so…

    is there any evidence that he is an abuser and not someone who just flipped out and attacked her in a one off incident?

    Physical abuse is wrong regardless of gender and any supposed reason, but I think someone that repeatedly attacks and is involved in incidents of abuse is an entirely different situation to someone who lashes out once out of anger, frustration or any other emotion.

  17. Thisbrings up a question. I have heard a lot about what I should not say to a victim of abuse, but if I do know someone who is going back to an abusive relationship, what should I do or say?

  18. I’ll be the first to say so. I was abused as a kid. First by a stepmother, then later on by my father. I was bruised and kicked and whipped with a belt.

    Later on, I was 17, he was 21. We had an argument over sex. As in he wanted to, I wasn’t ready. I grabbed his arm, touched his new tattoo. He hauled off and slapped me across the face full force.

    I saw red. I don’t remember it so well, but I hit him back. Cracked two ribs, broke a third. Walked out.

    I took it too long from my father, to ever want to let any other man hold power over me.

  19. Maybe a mother of 5 doesn’t have the option of not returning to an abusive relationship, she has no choice but to endure for her children. It could be her only means to provide for them but a multi-platinum selling artist has no reason to collaborate or forgive that despicable behavior. I’m not saying Rihanna is “stupid,” she’s just making a stupid decision. As for Brown and his adoring fans: If they get anything coming to them, they deserve it; fuck ‘em.

  20. Laci, will you please make a video on domestic abuse against men, or rather why no one cares about domestic violence against men? According to some charities it makes up about 40% of all domestic violence; and indeed if we include male-on-male violence then the number FAR outweighs violence against women. But to be honest, I don’t think it matters if its 40% or 4%… the problem is not the numbers, but that we don’t care, we laugh at men being abused.***

    While the gander issues are not separate – they are treated as if they are, and I fear you treat them as if they are. I live in the UK, with the BBC news channels, a very non-biased network in my opinion… and I’ve never seen a single news headline about abuse against men. If Rihanna had been the one to beat up Chris Brown then it would have been the topic of human and laughter on lots of panel shows, and would never have been a really cared about issue,***

    Given you’re audience demographic too, with many ‘nerdy guys’ as it were, it does seem even more relevant to make a video on the topic. The issue against men is, I feel, far more serious… not because the violence is more common, or greater, against men -it is not- but because we don’t care… we don’t seem to care at all. You are in a position, with a popular channel and a lot of listeners, to try and make more people care.

    You have already made a video on domestic abuse – and it remained very ‘gender neutral’ – but the issue I have is not that it happens to men, but that its laughed at when its against men (if you wish, I will provide more examples, but a quick google or youtube search will give you an idea of what I mean). I don’t think this is something you have ever addressed and I feel you should.

    All the best,

    Tom
    xx

    *** Citation of example:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rkl_oLSKQc
    The above relates to a woman who cut off her husbands penis… and was then invited onto a national talk show to laugh about it. The case was not isolated either; indeed this has been the case now with several different women, as the video explains. Please note; I do not agree with everything in the video.

  21. Boycott that bitchy boy! Domestic abuse is horrible and permanently scarring. I may not have experience with physical abuse in a relationship, but I remember someone who was abused and I’ve had my fair share of shit thrown in my face. I remember watching that woman’s daughter so she could go to the cops to press charges…I remember the booze, the drugs, the bruises and scars. Now I never see her…she did get out for good though. Now she’s back to alchohol and drugs and her daughter doesn’t remember me at all despite us never being more than a few steps away from the time she was a year and a half to five years old. Abuse isn’t pretty, and even when you get out, there are sometimes other consequences to deal with. And sometimes you don’t realize how you affect others.

    Now, there is no one to protect Skylar Brooke from the mistakes her parents made. That girl will have to grow up quicker than she should have to and she’ll have no choice. She’ll have to find out about her father’s abuse the hard way and deal with her mother’s addictions herself. It makes me sad to know that Skylar will never know a happy family and even more sad to know that her mother is actually the best she could hope for. I really hope that she didn’t understand any of this Rhianna stuff and that she never turns out like her mother or the rest of her family.

  22. Holy, shit! I can’t believe the world right now with those crazy fucking tweets.. o__0
    A little disturbed right now, I must admit..

    Anyway Laci, you’re forgetting another, important reason as to why abused women go back to their abusers. They can get KILLED! Now, you can’t really put it beneath the abuser exactly, can’t you? At the time, the woman decides to break up with her abusive boyfriend, that boyfriend is probably getting super pissed, and look at Chris Brown and what has already been done to Rihanna! Just imagine it, if he or any other abuser gets angrier… And then she can, accidentally, hang around her abuser, esp. since they were boy/girlfriend and they probably have the same social circle, so it could very likely happen, really.

    Anyway, that’s my reasoning for it. But, apparently, some abused women do stay with their abuser to avoid that. I’m surprised you didn’t mention it…XD

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