5 Tips for Relationship WIN

1: Respect


Mutual respect is one of the most important foundations for a strong, healthy relationship. Respect means seeing each other as equals, treating them with dignity–even in conflict, empathizing with their needs, trusting them, and giving validation. This should be afforded to both partners.

2: Communicate

I CAN’T SAY THIS ENOUGH! Communicate about what you’re experiencing and what you need. Listen as your partner does the same. A calm, rational approach to communication can eliminate a shitload of fighting and drama. Practice non-threatening behavior, negotiation, and fairness. Keep each other on the same page and create an open environment to talk about issues as they come up.

3: Moderation

I see a tendency in younger relationships to become isolated from the world once you have a relationship. The two spend every hour together and many sacrifice fulfillment in other parts of their lives because it has been replaced by a new love. Alternatively, try to keep a level head. Don’t cut off your friends and family–your partner isn’t going anywhere! Having a strong support system in life comes from a myriad of people you love, not just a single one. Moving at a steady, healthy pace will help you to savor each milestone of increasing intimacy and connection. There is no rush.

4: Support

Provide support for each other’s ambitions, goals, endeavors, and day to day challenges. This is an important form of validation and generates positive esteem cycles in your relationship. Being a supportive lover helps to ward off (though won’t eliminate) negative emotions like jealousy and entitlement.

5: Enjoy

Have FUN! Relationships can bring love, wonder, and new learning experiences into your life for you to enjoy. Savor them! No relationship will be without challenge, however. There will be struggle, there will be conflict. Take time to work through rough periods, but overall, your take away from relationships should be primarily positive. If you are more frequently hurt, confused, or upset, reflect upon whether or not this is the relationship for you.

What tips do YOU have for strong, healthy relationships? Check out what others have to say & leave yours below :)

23 thoughts on “5 Tips for Relationship WIN

  1. Point 3 is one I see all too often in my friends when they get in a relationship. I have friends that I rarely see now, and they rarely get out at all… can’t be healthy for a relationship! When in a relationship I think it’s both important for both partners to have space outside of the relationship, and to retain a fun life with friends and family. I think it is especially harmful to a relationship if neither partner leaves the house outside of work – a recipe for arguments! Get out there and go on fun dates together! No need to be boring because your in a committed relationship! :)

  2. It would really help if someone actually cared about me in the first place. Im always alone. Its not fun. Why cant I find a woman who loves me for me? I am a fan of the TV show Power Rangers and I am 21. But should that really make me undateable? Im not extreme about it at all. Its just why I grew up with but when it gets mentioned, every girl tends to tuck tail and run. Whats so wrong with me? Laci, HELP!

    • Don’t stress about it dude! Don’t feel the need to hide your nerdy side – embrace it! You should always be true to yourself… you’d be surprised how many people out there who have similar tastes. You’re still young so there’s really need to panic about being alone! Just relax, strive to improve yourself and be the best person you can, and I’m sure love will come knockin’ when you least expect it!

    • Gonna have to agree with dawkins on this one, don’t be ashamed of your nerdy side, embrace it and let it all out. Heck my girlfriend and I are both nerds and we wind up laughing at each other because of it (in a friendly manner of course). A question that has become frequent in, well, all of my friendships is “And how many nerd points does that earn me/us?” So try to stay positive, I’m sure there’s a nerdy girl who also loves Power Rangers out there for you somewhere, you just might have to search a bit.

      • But when? I am 21 years old and havent even begun to see any signs of anything. Its not fun, and rather depressing

        • Do not panic. I was very much in your shoes a year ago. Im 26 years old right now and am a little under a year into my first serious relationship Ive ever really had. I am as nerdy as they come whatever geeky hobby and activity there are Ive done at some point or found interesting. I know you’re probably sick of hearing this but the good girls care more about what kind of person you are on the inside not how cool you are. I would’ve scoffed at this a year ago but the right person won’t care so keep trying and most of all don’t let yourself feel pressured to keep up with your friends

  3. I think forgiveness is missing on this list. Nobody is perfect, you’re gonna screw up at times, if you wanna make it through that crap, you’re going to have to forgive the other person.

    And I don’t just mean this in the cheating sense, I’m not getting into that debate entirely, but yes, for me personally, I can forgive someone for cheating, just not very often.

    What comes up if you say forgiveness of course is honesty, and that one would be on my list too. The thing is that these two can reinforce each other. Forgiveness makes people honest, honesty makes people forgive.

    It’s not gonna solve all arguments and fights and problems, of course. But it’s the way to deal with at least some of the shit you’ll no doubt encounter if you plan to be together for the long term.

  4. Good job Laci. I am not correcting your work but expanding on 2 other things I would look for.
    2 things:
    6. Early in the relationship, openly discuss sex. I am not saying graphic stuff or how your ex did it. I am talking about things like what does each person think sex is (intercourse vs. intimacy vs. fooling around vs. oral, ect.), in the perfect committed relationship how often would each of them like to have sex, virginity, vows of celibacy, and all matters related to sex. That way there is no confusion later and someone does not feel like they have to compromise themselves. I know this tends to make some people blush, but it is an important part of any relationship. As always, this should be done in a safe and non-judgmental way.
    7. Seeing eye to eye. No person in a relationship is going to be happy if they are not equal partners. If someone thinks they are better than the other or feels like they are lacking compared to the other. Obviously, there will be slight variations in experience, career, education, values, morals, and history, however, there should be enough common ground that both people see each other as equals.

  5. Hi, Laci! I love your videos, and have been watching for over a year now. What is your view on breast reduction surgery? I ask this because I have back pain, often feel objectified by guys’ wandering eyes, and am still not completely done maturing yet (I’m in high school, 5 foot 4, 125 pounds, and am a 34D). I know that you are a bustier woman, and that the surgery isn’t for everybody; I would greatly appreciate your pros and cons on the matter for the future. Thanks so much!

  6. As a speaker on behalf of safe dating and healthy relationships I have STRONG opinions on this.

    Relationships should not have a dominate partner. The choices about what happens each step of the relationship should be between both partners, not one more than the other.

    Not only should they support your goals but they should have common goals in two different forms.
    1. Where they want the relationship to go: Summer Romance, Marriage, Long Term Relationship.

    2. Where they want their personal lives to go: Job, goals,etc.

    You touched base with pretty much every single one, but all these things fall under respect. Respect for your partner and respect for yourself.

    Thanks for sharing. =)

  7. Thanks for taking the time to compile what should be common sense instead of relationship advice. It’s always amazing how so many couples complain about their relationships falling apart when, in reality, if they would have followed these five little things, they wouldn’t be alone.

    In my opinion, communication is the most important. Without it, how can anyone survive? Every relationship (friends, lovers, coworkers and even family) will eventually wither and die if all parties insist on keeping their wants and needs bottled up. And what’s the most effective way of getting what you need? Communication.

  8. #3 moderation:
    this part is what makes me feel uncomfortable. i am 14, my boyfriend is 13. we talk constantly, because he could barely live without me and i don’t have anyone else to talk to except in school (which is out) because my generation’s sociality is going down the drain, and i am going with it.
    sure, i would love to get away from my boyfriend and be with friends every once in a while. i’m with him so much that i often get tired of him. but i just don’t get the opportunity. my dad always tells me that i should make one for myself, but i just don’t know how, and frankly i don’t have the resources.
    so yes laci, you are correct. we would probably have a much healthier relationship, scratch that, DEFINTIELY have a much healthier relationship if we weren’t up eachother’s butts 24 hours a day, but sadly, i think we’re all eachother has.
    damn.

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