Problems with the Kinsey Scale

Take any sort of sexuality course and you will probably learn about the Kinsey Scale. The scale, ranging from 0-6 goes from exclusively heterosexual (0) to exclusively homosexual (6). It looks something like this:

The scale, produced in the 1940s, was pretty radical for its time. Kinsey was one of the first researchers to suggest that sexual orientation is more than simply:

But rather, that sexual orientation comes on a

Continue reading

Interested In A Stranger On Facebook?

Oh Facebook, you magical love machine, you. =D

I have a crush on a guy that I don’t know, but am friends with on facebook. I guess he technically isn’t a complete stranger because he is an acquaintance/friend of some of my friends in real life…So my question is, in the age of facebook and friending strangers is it ok to express interest in someone you don’t actually know, and how does one go about it with out it being too awkward? I can’t really judge his accepting my friend request as anything much since he is in a band that is fairly well known and has a lot of friends. On a side note, I have noticed through random news feed posts that he definitely has an interest in meeting someone, so is that an open invitation to introduce myself? Do you think that he might get the impression that I’m weird for having searched him out or that I read what he posts? Honestly I don’t even know how I’d begin.

I
am
all about
meeting
people
on
the
internet.

…but, yknow, you’re talking to one of the biggest internet nerds ever. I don’t think it’s weird to friend people and to socialize online as you would in “real” life. This is the digital age! Embrace it! Love it and cuddle it! I believe it can do a lot of good in our “real” lives. The dating game online and IRL have a lot of overlap. Here are 3 things to consider when you’re approaching a stranger on Facebook:

Continue reading

10 Tips For Tough Conversations

☹ Your partner watches so much porn that it’s impeding on your sex life
☹ Your friend got a bf and seems to have completely lost their personality
☹ Your partner says embarrassing things in the company of other people

These are just some of the emails I get from people who ask: “how do I talk to them about this?” Every single one of us, at one time or another, will be in a situation where we really need to sit down and talk with someone about something that is very hard to talk about, uncomfortable, sensitive, or otherwise challenging.

Here are 10 tips that have helped me to smooth out tough conversations.

Continue reading

50 More Ways To Be Sex Positive!

In this week’s sex+ called “The Slut Shamer“, I used a variety of mini-skits to give some basic principles of sex positivity. Here are 50 more things that I do to complement my sex positive lifestyle. Help grow this list by sharing your ways in the comments! Can you think of more ways to be sex positive? :)

Sexuality
explore & find out what feels good!

Continue reading

How To Stay Friends With An Ex

e-mayl

My boyfriend of nearly two years broke up with me two weeks ago. Tomorrow, he is running of to Panama city for some spring break fun with a new girl. This is totally unlike him, so I am assuming it’s his way of coping with the pain – though he is flat out denying there is pain. In my logic, I thought, if he’s moving on, should I? We’ve both decided that we will stay friends. Though I am trying to get him to do friend activities, he is seemingly distant and cold. Again, very un like him. I’m wondering, in your personal and professional opinion, can we be friends with our exs? how much time in between should it take to attempt a friendship?

-L

Hey, L. I don’t have any professional advice to offer, but I can speak from my personal experiences with break ups.

Ending a relationship is in many ways losing someone, especially when you’ve been together for a few years as you had. The grief of break-ups, for me, feels not quite as strong as death, but more then falling out with a friend. As such, there are lots of emotions flowing, and that sometimes translates into strange or irrational behavior.

I think your assumption about him coping is probably right, even if he is denying it. In past break ups, I found myself feeling unwanted & missing their presence in my life. Amongst the slew of my sadness, there was peace in feeling like I’d be able to find the same happiness with someone else. Call it “rebounding”. Running off on this trip to Panama may be your ex’s way of doing that. I wouldn’t worry about his coldness for now, he’s probably just upset and needs some time.
Continue reading