The Thing About Identity Labels…

emailllll

“I feel attracted to x, but I’m not sure if I qualify as ‘this label’ or ‘that label’, can you help explain these labels so I can pick the right one?”

Pansexual, asexual, gray-a, demisexual, boyqueen, genderqueer, panromantic, aromantic, homosexual, bisexual, queer, femme, andro, agender, bigender, butch, ….omg there are so many identity label choices!


Here’s a reminder about all those choices: you define those labels, those labels do not define you!

Labels are tools to understand the vast array of gender/romantic/sexual identity possibilities; they are not rigidly defined categories of people that you need to properly fit your identity under. You are already you, with or without the labels.

Instead, it’s helped me to reframe it like this:
Say it’s your sexual orientation label in question. Start thinking about what you do/don’t enjoy sexually, who you enjoy being sexual with, what kinds of things make you horny, what you’re curious about, and so on. Then, whenever you want or need a label to describe your sexual orientation, try on a label you feel comfortable with. Use the label so long as it helps you, but never allow yourself to feel any pressure to do that label “right”. You ARE your label. Your label is not you.

See what I’m saying?

As soon as a label starts to define you instead of you defining it, it’s time to drop it like it’s hot.

Go do you.

The “Pro-Life” Movement: Dangerous, Selfish, Lazy

So…362 anti-abortion bills were proposed in 2011, and over 350 have been proposed so far for 2012.

Anybody else getting nervous?

You’ve probably noticed that Planned Parenthood, a sexual health services provider for millions of people living in the USA, has come under an extreme political attack. Major threats to defund the organization, straw-man sting operations, and multiple bombings of clinics are just a few recent events in this chaotic spiral.

Planned Parenthood provides a much needed service in the United States: birth control, family planning, pregnancy testing, cancer screenings, STI prevention, HIV/AIDS services, and various other vital reproductive health services that a healthy country desperately needs access to. So why all the violence?

Because 3% of Planned Parenthood’s funds go toward abortion for accidental pregnancies.

Extremist Christian groups, under the dishonest banner of “Pro-Life”, have thus made it their top priority to shut down the entire organization that is Planned Parenthood in order to stop the abortion care. The debate about this Planned Parenthood/abortion/pro life stuff typically revolves around how we should feel about abortion.

But I think invested time and resources in that debate is futile.

Humans will never have universal feelings about abortion. We just won’t – it’s a personal issue that examines how humans feel about their own existence. Tough stuff. The sooner we become okay with having different feelings about it, the sooner we can take a look at the practical side of things….that is, the scary amounts of terrorism surrounding access to abortion. I know the word “terrorism” sounds extreme and dramatic in itself, but if we’re going by dictionary definitions, this one fits the bill. There has been:

Continue reading

Problems with the Kinsey Scale

Take any sort of sexuality course and you will probably learn about the Kinsey Scale. The scale, ranging from 0-6 goes from exclusively heterosexual (0) to exclusively homosexual (6). It looks something like this:

The scale, produced in the 1940s, was pretty radical for its time. Kinsey was one of the first researchers to suggest that sexual orientation is more than simply:

But rather, that sexual orientation comes on a

Continue reading

50 More Ways To Be Sex Positive!

In this week’s sex+ called “The Slut Shamer“, I used a variety of mini-skits to give some basic principles of sex positivity. Here are 50 more things that I do to complement my sex positive lifestyle. Help grow this list by sharing your ways in the comments! Can you think of more ways to be sex positive? :)

Sexuality
explore & find out what feels good!

Continue reading

A Crash Course on Anorexia

In today’s sex+ I covered some thoughts on the anorexia, including:
I. Pro-anorexia blogging communities
II. The spiral into anorexia
III. The difference between dieting & an eating disorder
IV. What’s behind an eating disorder: more than weight
V. What causes anorexia – personal characteristics of anorexics
VI. Why anorexia affects more women than men – cultural theories

This article will fill in the gaps to give a fuller understanding of anorexia, including:
I. Defining and classifying anorexia
II. Anorexia statistics
III. Identifying anorexia in someone else
IV. Could you be anorexic?
V. What anorexia does to your body
VI. How anorexia is treated
VII. How to help someone with anorexia

What is anorexia?
Anorexia Nervosa is referred to as an eating disorder and a mental disorder and is socially transmitted. It is defined as:
-Refusal to maintain a healthy body weight
-Fear of gaining weight
-Distorted body image

The life and thoughts of an anorexic revolve around their weight and eating habits. Mealtimes are points of stress in the endless pursuit of losing more weight. No matter how skinny someone with anorexia becomes, they never feel it is good enough. Those with anorexia will, in general, adamantly deny that they need intervention.
Continue reading