Sex Toy Hysteria! – Recommends

On this week’s Sex+ I gave a few tips for purchasing sex toys. Many of you have asked over the years, so here are some recommends for those of you interested in purchasing sex toys! I have tried or gotten positive reviews from friends/partner on all the following (clickable):

Slim prostate massager with removable vibrating bullet.Rechargeable silicone prostate massager with multiple functions.Vibrating silicone prostate  massagerDual-action waterproof silicone vibrator with 8 modes of vibration and two motors.Rechargeable silicone G-spot stimulator with 6 modes of vibration.Flavored latex dental dam.The water based, water soluble and condom compatible lubricant.Premium waterbased lubricant glicerin freeStimulating balls for vaginal insertionMultispeed rechargeable male masturbator made out of plastic and silicone.Fully-rechargeable waterproof intimate massager with 6 stimulation modes made with the smoothest body-safe silicone with an ABS core.Kama Sutra Massage Oil - Strong or gentle, reassuring or sensual.Luxury, non-tacky water based sensual lubricantAnal plug made of tempered glass.Silicone G-spot vibrator with multifunction vibrations.Rechargeable vibrator with 5 functions and 7 speedsA pure silicone masturbation sleeve from Tantus.12 premium latex condoms3 pack of ribbed, premium latex condomsWaterproof multispeed vibrator with clitoral stimulator and G-spot tipRechargeable silicone dual action vibrating stimulator with powerful independent dual motors in the stimulator and tip.Rechargeable silicone dual action vibrating stimulator with powerful independent dual motors, one in the stimulator and one in the tip.Pawn from Evolved’s Checkmate line is a petite, body-safe, satin-smooth vibrator with multi-speed functions that is sure to win your heart and body.Share delicious sensations with this penis ring that sports a powerful motor for extreme vibrations. She will be especially satisfied thanks to a silicone bump designed to tickle the clitoris.Multispeed waterproof anal vibrator with bending shaft.These high-quality, phthalate-free black silicone anal beads feature nine beads of pleasure measuring 9 inches in total length with each bead approximately .89 inches in diameter.Vibrating penis ring is made from 100% waterproof silicone material and designed to stimulate yourself as well as the clitoris or the perineum of your partner.A sleek, compact masturbation sleeve with stylish aerodynamic design and a turbulently pleasurable texture.Luxury rechargeable vibrator with satin pouchBeginners anal trainer kit of three butt plugs of different size, made from PVC a Wendy Williams line, that are designed for ultimate comfort and easy clean-up.Traditional velvet vibratorAll natural, water-based lubricant.Glass dildo with heart shaped handle and enlarged tipBlack vibrating anal beads with push button and built-in bullet.

My favorite brands are Lelo, Jopen, and Tantus (for male toys). I find that they consistently make awesome, high quality sex toys. I’ve had the Lelo Liv for 4 years and it’s one of my absolute favorites. It’s rechargeable (yay!) and holds a charge FOREVER. I also really like the Jopen Vanity v6. It’s my favorite rabbit vibrator. Lelo’s Ina 2 is also amazing. If you want something on the cheap side, this butterfly vibrator packs a surprising punch! It also has yet to break down – a rarity for how inexpensive it is. I have video reviews of all these toys on this site.

One brand I will never purchase from again is Doc Johnson. Cheap, poor quality toys that consistently fail to deliver.

My favorite lubricants are Sliquid Organics and Liquid Silk. For a cheaper lube, Astroglide always does the trick and can be purchased most places!

I think Edenfantasys is a great website to purchase from; very sex positive, queer & woman friendly. I used to do sex toy reviews for them (hence why I have so many expensive toys….lol). They ship fast and are very discreet. It doesn’t look like you’re getting a sex toy in the mail! They usually have pretty good deals (I think there’s a 20% off thing going on right now) and they have an easy return policy. There are other shops out there that are totally awesome as well! I can’t speak to any experience with them though. :)

Have fun!

The Thing About Identity Labels…


“I feel attracted to x, but I’m not sure if I qualify as ‘this label’ or ‘that label’, can you help explain these labels so I can pick the right one?”

Pansexual, asexual, gray-a, demisexual, boyqueen, genderqueer, panromantic, aromantic, homosexual, bisexual, queer, femme, andro, agender, bigender, butch, ….omg there are so many identity label choices!

Here’s a reminder about all those choices: you define those labels, those labels do not define you!

Labels are tools to understand the vast array of gender/romantic/sexual identity possibilities; they are not rigidly defined categories of people that you need to properly fit your identity under. You are already you, with or without the labels.

Instead, it’s helped me to reframe it like this:
Say it’s your sexual orientation label in question. Start thinking about what you do/don’t enjoy sexually, who you enjoy being sexual with, what kinds of things make you horny, what you’re curious about, and so on. Then, whenever you want or need a label to describe your sexual orientation, try on a label you feel comfortable with. Use the label so long as it helps you, but never allow yourself to feel any pressure to do that label “right”. You ARE your label. Your label is not you.

See what I’m saying?

As soon as a label starts to define you instead of you defining it, it’s time to drop it like it’s hot.

Go do you.

The “Pro-Life” Movement: Dangerous, Selfish, Lazy

So…362 anti-abortion bills were proposed in 2011, and over 350 have been proposed so far for 2012.

Anybody else getting nervous?

You’ve probably noticed that Planned Parenthood, a sexual health services provider for millions of people living in the USA, has come under an extreme political attack. Major threats to defund the organization, straw-man sting operations, and multiple bombings of clinics are just a few recent events in this chaotic spiral.

Planned Parenthood provides a much needed service in the United States: birth control, family planning, pregnancy testing, cancer screenings, STI prevention, HIV/AIDS services, and various other vital reproductive health services that a healthy country desperately needs access to. So why all the violence?

Because 3% of Planned Parenthood’s funds go toward abortion for accidental pregnancies.

Extremist Christian groups, under the dishonest banner of “Pro-Life”, have thus made it their top priority to shut down the entire organization that is Planned Parenthood in order to stop the abortion care. The debate about this Planned Parenthood/abortion/pro life stuff typically revolves around how we should feel about abortion.

But I think invested time and resources in that debate is futile.

Humans will never have universal feelings about abortion. We just won’t – it’s a personal issue that examines how humans feel about their own existence. Tough stuff. The sooner we become okay with having different feelings about it, the sooner we can take a look at the practical side of things….that is, the scary amounts of terrorism surrounding access to abortion. I know the word “terrorism” sounds extreme and dramatic in itself, but if we’re going by dictionary definitions, this one fits the bill. There has been:

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Laci’s Guide to Carpet Munching

Ok, does anybody else find the term “carpet muncher” totally endearing? I love it.

My experience with carpet munching/oral sex/eating out/cunnilingus/giving head/going down goes as follows:

People with vaginas: know what’s up.
People without vaginas: do not know what’s up.

The majority of my partners (sorry babes….hey why are you lurking my blog?) have been oh-so-valiant warriors in their efforts to master the munching of carpets…but alas, good head is a fleeting luxury. As sensitive and magical as My Clit might be, it does require a bit of pampering before she will do any tricks for you. I am writing this blog to give an account of the guide I wish I’d had a few years ago to hand over and ask “could you do this?” –accompanied of course by adorable eyelash batting and “you’re so wonderful-ing” so as not to bruise my beau’s already wavering confidence in bed.

This blog is about My Clit. If you want to better the oral sex you’re having, try writing (or verbalizing) a guide to Your Clit for your partner. If you don’t know what to do, consider the pointers here, and ask your partner the questions you have as well.

Just like I’ve done my carpet-munching homework by being tested & taking care of my sexual health, please do your homework as well! Before we get into bed, I expect you to know your sexual health status.

I also expect you to know my basic anatomy. You should be able to identify my anus, vagina, labia, and clit. Remember, My Clit is that little nub at the top of my inner labia. My Clit will become more pronounced as I become aroused. If you are having trouble finding it at first, I can help you with that.

Unless we have 5 minutes or someone’s about to bust through the door, the starting point should never, ever be in between my legs. Do foreplay our foreplay’s foreplay. Sexy talk, kissing, touching my favorite spots, and rubbing up on me are all better places to start than My Clit. Once you have given sufficient time for My Clit to stir from her slumber, you are welcome to visit her with your hands and tongue.

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Problems with the Kinsey Scale

Take any sort of sexuality course and you will probably learn about the Kinsey Scale. The scale, ranging from 0-6 goes from exclusively heterosexual (0) to exclusively homosexual (6). It looks something like this:

The scale, produced in the 1940s, was pretty radical for its time. Kinsey was one of the first researchers to suggest that sexual orientation is more than simply:

But rather, that sexual orientation comes on a

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